It's called IF YOU LIVED HERE, YOU'D BE HOME NOW, a coffee table book crammed with lovely images of America's most crapulous domiciles. From trailers sinking into the mud, to motels where the most indiscriminate hooker wouldn't be caught dead pulling a train, IF YOU LIVED HERE, YOU'D BE HOME NOW will capture the majesty and charm of the American third world in glorious color.

This spectacular residence, for instance, is a real neighborhood showplace. Who wouldn't want to spend a lazy beer-swigging afternoon on that comfy couch picking cat hair off their microwave burrito? I know I couldn't resist.
Now this photo is what I'd consider tame. It would never make it into the book. I'm looking for nasty. Won't you help?
If you think your home has got what it takes, simply take a few pictures and send them to crapulous@markhenry.us. By doing so, you release all rights to those pictures, and understand that I, Mark Henry, will be adding horrendous comments about your dwelling, all in good fun, of course. Your personal information will not be used, except for our correspondence. In return, if chosen (and if it's published), you will receive a signed copy of the book.